Ø High school started before 8am, but now nothing before noon is considered “early”.
Ø You have more beer than food in your fridge
Ø Weekends start on Thursday
Ø 6 am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up
Ø You know many different ways to cook ramen noodles or macaroni and cheese
Ø The health center gives out free condoms, and people take them, just in case
Ø Instead of falling asleep in class, you stay in bed
Ø You know how late McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Burger King, etc. are open
Ø You think it’s the weekend on a Wednesday and you don’t know what month it is
Ø You can’t remember the last time you washed your car
Ø Your underwear/sock supply dictates your laundry schedule
Ø You check Facebook more than once a day
Ø You get drunk dialed on any night of the week
Ø You wash dishes in the bathroom sink
Ø You’ve fallen off a loft bed
Ø You talk about beer pong like it’s a sport
Ø Finding random people in your house is perfectly normal, and you even sympathize with them
Ø Sometimes when you wake up you have no idea where you are
Ø Your primary news sources are Daily Show and the Colbert Report
Ø You open a beer at 10 am and your roommate asks you if there is more
Ø The standard of meals per day falls to two, sometimes just one
Ø Your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t
Ø You go to Target or Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week.
Ø You wear the same jeans for 13 days without washing them
Ø Your breakfast consists of a coke or cereal bar on the way to class… anything with caffeine will do
Ø Quarters are like gold
Ø Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some ramen noodles
Ø You live in a house with three couches, none of which match
Ø You try to study but seem to procrastinate by eating, going to study breaks, talking to people, etc
Ø You talk to your roommate on instant messenger when you are both home
Ø You ask people what YOU did last night
Ø Certain things are now deemed “Facebook Worthy” When your friends take pictures of you, you wonder how long it will take them to post them
Ø You’ve seen a hit and fun involving a bicyclist/pedestrian
Ø You see people you know you’ve met but can never remember their names or how you know them
Ø You sleep more in class than in your room
Ø Your idea of a square meal is a box of Pop Tarts
Ø You’ve traveled with bags of dirty clothes
Ø You go home to do your laundry because you are too poor to pay $2 or too lazy to go to a change machine
Ø You pay $100 for a book you don’t read once, return it four months later and get $7.
Ø More than 20% of your household furnishings are made from milk crates
Ø You recognize the meat in the dorm soup as yesterday’s meatloaf, and thus decide to eat a nice bowl of cereal – a safe bet for a meal
Ø You throw out bowls and plates because you don’t feel like washing them
Ø Your beer pong table is nicer than all your other tables
Ø It takes preparation and 3 people to take out your garbage
Ø Going to the library is a social event
Ø You wear flip flops in the shower your freshman year … you know why
Ø You start joining clubs because of the free food
Ø Visits home depend on how much money you have for gas
Ø You skip one class to write a paper for another
Ø You have no idea where your tuition money is going… technology fees? I think not
Ø Bicycles don’t seem as lame as they did in high school
Ø You stay up late to finish homework then sleep through the class in which it was due
Ø Girls: You’ve balanced your foot on a shampoo bottle to shave
Ø Your backpack is giving you scoliosis
Ø You’ve written a check for 45 cents or stopped to get #2 of gas
Ø Your bill in the bookstore will compare to your tuition
Ø Going to the mailbox becomes an ego booster/breaker
Ø Most of your T.A.’s are foreign, what’s the deal?
Ø You never realized so many people were smarter than you
Ø You never realized so many people were dumber than you
Ø Western Europe could be wiped out by a terrible plague and you’d never know, but you can recite the last episode of your favorite show verbatim
Ø Care packages rank right up there with birthdays
Ø Your craft ways to make any game into a drinking/stripping game
Ø You meet the type of people you thought only existed in movies
Ø Printers break down only when you desperately need them
Ø Anything can be cooked in a microwave
Ø Two words: bike cops
Ø You have a safe ride programmed into your phone
Ø Old school Nintendo and guitar hero and pretty much the best things ever
Ø Going to the grocery at midnight is completely normal
Ø You call restaurants that deliver more than you call your family
Ø You’ve paid bills over $5 in coins
Ø You can’t image life without your computer/cell phone/i pod
Ø Hoodies and sweatpants are the norm – jeans are considered “dressy” at certain occasions… like school
Ø A canceled class is almost as exciting as Christmas
Ø Taking a nap in the library is perfectly acceptable
Ø Your professors speak English as a second language
Ø Your teacher swears in class and no one cares
Ø Candles in your dorm room are considered contraband, but cigarettes are okay
Ø You take condiment packages and napkins from fast food restaurants
Ø Betta fish are like your family
Ø You bring back socks from the laundry room that may or may not be yours
Ø You know what people carrying suspiciously heavy backpacks after dark are doing
Ø The elevators take forver but you will wait 10 minues just so you don’t have to climb stairs
Ø Your roommate asks you to check the weather on your computer when they are standing 5 feet away from the door
Ø Showers become more of an issue
Ø You press the automatic door opener instead of simply grabbing the handle as you approach the door
Ø Christmas lights seem to be acceptable all year round
Ø Class size doubles on exam day
Ø You donate plasma even though you know it is pretty sketchy
Ø You are no longer thankful that fire alarms are here to protect you
Ø You begin to include ketchup on your list of acceptable vegetables
Ø You stay on campus for hours in between classes when it is too cold to walk home
Ø People have to help you kick the vending machine just so you can get your 50 cent bag of chips
Ø There is always a “question kid” in at least one of your classes, and you really wish someone would just tell them to shut the hell up
Ø You steal dishes from the cafeteria so that you don’t have to wash your own
Ø Laundry is an all day event
Ø You no longer find it uncool to take naps. In fact, you quite enjoy them
Ø Its illegal to drink in the dorms yet they sell an assortment of shot glasses, beer mugs, tankards, etc in the bookstore
Ø You find your list of acceptable napping places expanding daily to increasingly uncomfortable locations
Ø You fill out credit card applications for free food
Ø You’ve eaten cereal out of a cup with a fork
Ø Dressing up for Halloween becomes cool again
Ø You know at least one person who has dropped their cell phone into the toilet
Ø You admire people’s alcohol bottle shrines
Ø You check ratemyprofessor.com before choosing your class schedule
Ø You text faster than you type
Ø You only find out a class is cancelled after you get there and sit for about 10 minutes
Ø You actually start using coupons, especially those school coupon books
Ø You open canned food and eat it out of the can
Ø You run out of blank ink and instead of buying a new ink cartridge, decide blue is a nice substitute
Ø You have numbers in your phone with labels like “Sketchy Steve” and “Alcohol Guy”
Ø The food in your fridge may or may not be older than your little brother
Ø You finish reading this and wonder how you can procrastinate next