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The Breakup

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Fuck Her Brains Out

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I'm Sober?

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Kick His Ass

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Seeing Double

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Mouthful of Rum

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The White Russian

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The Problem with Beer Goggles

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"How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?"

Dick Roasters Cooking Hot Dogs
October 10th, 2007
The most recent technological breakthrough for BBQing hot dogs. Guarunteed to make your hot dog juicy and well cooked, but the imagery of my roasted dick is a bit disturbing.
The Ass Family New Family on the Block
April 30th, 2007
The newest family to move into the neighborhood doesn't beat around the bush, they admit it -- they are asses. But they're proud of it, they have one of everything!
A very sexy pumpkin Halloween Sex-O-Lantern
October 5th, 2007
This jack-o-lantern inparticular should win best design for 2006, it speaks on so many levels. Well, to be honest, I suppose it only speaks on one level.
Mad Bush? The MAD Magazine Kid
April 30th, 2007
Ever wonder what happened to that weird kid from MAD magazine? Well, as you know nobody can be young forever and everyone grows up... but what might that wacky icon become?
Parking for Drunk Drivers Parking for Drunk Drivers
April 25th, 2007
There's parking for Handicapped people, Loading Zones, Expectant mothers, and now there's prime parking for Drunk Drivers! Yes, if you drink and drive, this space is just for you.
My Ass Hurts My Ass Hurts
April 20th, 2007
So one two chocolate bunnies walk into a bright white area and one says to the other... "My Ass Hurts" ...
Bamboo Mountain Bike Bamboo Mountain Bike
May 11th, 2007
The plan was needlessly complicated. Find the perfect pieces of bamboo for bike tubing and build up a bike surrounding it with a couple thousand dollars in bike components. Heres the result.
Safe Sex Safe Sex
March 27th, 2007
Yup, this one is pretty dirty but teaches a very valuable lesson about using protection and ... well, probably a lot of lube.
Dora the Explorer Dora exploring new exciting places
December 19th, 2006
The must have new toy for christmas 2006! It is the gift that keeps on giving all year round. You will always find it a pleasurable experience with your Dora Aquapent and it will never disappoint. Explore the murky depths and fulfil your every fantasy with dora as your personal playmate. The "Dora the Explorer" toy line has definitely diversified.
PS1 + PS2 = PS3, duh! PS1 + PS2 = PS3 (duh!)
December 15th, 2006
"The ultimate gaming machine. Yes, that's right, the PS3. The two machines are currently fastened together with standard high-performance duct tape. Imagine being able to play Gran Turismo 1 at the same time as you're playing Gran Turismo 4 (two TVs required but not included). None of those other non-custom Playstation 3s out there allow you to play two games at once."
Where ice cream comes from The Ice Cream Industry
November 15th, 2006
If you ever wondered where ice cream comes from, now you know. Enjoy your next cone of creamy snowman poo, I know I will!

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Daily Funny Joke

Featured Joke

Q: How do you know you're too drunk to drive?
A: When you swerve to miss a tree and realize its your air freshener.

More Jokes

Size matters
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Got a condom?

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Maid to order

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Who keeps count?

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The dollar ass wipe

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Where's my tip

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Not tonight dear

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Girl talk

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Dominatrix hid client death
ADDAMS, Massachusetts (AP) -- A prosecutor said Tuesday that a dominatrix dismembered and disposed of the body of a client who died of a heart attack during a bondage session in her makeshift dungeon.
81yo woman at car dealership hits husband, salesman, car, tree and wall
FORT MYERS, Florida (AP) -- An 81-year-old woman preparing to take a test drive at a car dealership hit her husband, a salesman, a car and a tree before running into a wall.
Raptors cheerleader with porn site fired
A 19-year-old dancer who appears in various states of undress on her Web site says she was fired from her job as a Toronto Raptors cheerleader because the basketball team considered the photos inappropriate.
Dead woman target of music-trading lawsuit
CHARLESTON, W.Va. - The recording industry sued Gertrude Walton, accusing her of illegally trading music over the Internet as "smittenedkitten."
Cheating wife gets millions in divorce
BRIDGEPORT, Connecticut (AP) -- A judge has awarded the former wife of a multimillionaire businessman a divorce settlement worth more than $40 million even though she admitted having affairs with her rock-climbing guide and a man she met on a flight to China.
Winning lottery ticket purchased with stolen credit card
MEDFORD, Oregon (AP) -- A woman bought a winning lottery ticket worth $1 million with a stolen credit card and could wind up with nothing if convicted, police said.
Cool Mom gets 30 years for sex parties
GOLDEN, Colorado (AP) -- A woman who authorities said had sex with high school boys during alcohol- and drug-fueled parties has been sentenced to 30 years in prison, officials said.
Porn broadcast stuns news viewers
(AP) -- Sweden's state broadcaster SVT on Monday faced ridicule for mistakenly showing a porn movie in the background of a news broadcast over the weekend.
Firefighters disciplined for photo shoot with nude women
TAMPA, Florida (AP) -- Five firefighters have been disciplined for being involved in a photo shoot involving two women posing nude on a fire engine inside a station.
Mother gives daughter to boyfriend for sex
Michigan (AP) -- A woman who feared she would lose her boyfriend while she recuperated from surgery arranged for her 15-year-old daughter to have sex with him, authorities said.
Man sues ex-girlfriend over glued genitals
GREENSBURG, Pennsylvania (AP) -- A Pennsylvanian man sued his ex-girlfriend for more than $30,000 for gluing his genitals to his abdomen five years ago.
Housewives not desperate for Playboy
(BANG) - 'Desperate Housewives' gorgeous babes were forced to turn down a £5million offer to pose nude for Playboy after Teri Hatcher refused to strip for the magazine.
Nail embedded in man's skull for 6 days
A dentist found the source of the toothache Patrick Lawler was complaining about on the roof of his mouth -- a four-inch (10-centimeter) nail the construction worker had unknowingly embedded in his skull six days earlier.
Teri Hatcher: Playboy for $10m
(BANG) - Teri Hatcher has confessed she would strip for Playboy - but only for a staggering $10million.
Airliner fakes emergency so passengers can watch soccer game
LIMA, Peru (AP) -- A chartered jet carrying 289 Gambian soccer fans pretended it needed to make an emergency landing so they could watch their team compete in the FIFA Under 17 World Championships, officials said Wednesday.
Lightsaber duel: two critical
LONDON, England -- Two Star Wars fans are in critical condition after apparently trying to make "lightsabers" by filling fluorescent light tubes with petrol, British media reports say.
Girls Gone Wild producers fined $2.1 million

Cellphone addict sends messages in his sleep
Swansea - A businessman from Swansea has discovered that he sends text messages in his sleep.
Teen's camcorder records his death
LA CROSSE, Wisconsin (AP) -- Seth Hammes was filming in the woods when his camcorder recorded the crack of gunshots, the 17-year-old's screams and the voice of the alleged shooter, promising help that never came.
Mouthy parrot reveals sex secret
LONDON, England -- A computer programmer found out his girlfriend was having an affair when his pet parrot kept repeating her lover's name, British media reported Tuesday.
Australian MPs debate TV nudity
CANBERRA, Australia (Reuters) -- The nude antics of reality television contestants on the Big Brother program have prompted Australian government politicians to demand a review of how much nudity can be shown on free television down under.


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